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I wanted to dedicate this week’s post to my story of how I developed a skin picking problem, and how I finally became skin picking free after 12 years. If you do not have a skin picking problem, I welcome you to read my story in hopes that it may inspire you to curb a bad habit of your own.
My Story
My skin picking history is a long one; I am guessing many of you reading this can relate with this, or perhaps with a different harmful stim. I started skin picking once I started developing acne, around age 13. I had just curbed my childhood habit of biting the skin around my nails, so I am guessing it was an easy replacement to that previous bad habit.
Skin picking was really distressing for me. I would pick over an hour a day and feel extremely ashamed and guilty about what I did. I picked anything and everything. Yet, I couldn’t stop. It was such a frustrating phenomenon, to want to do something so bad for me.
Despite my efforts, I continued to skin pick for many years. Several people suggested reasons for my skin picking that I never identified with and often found comedic. “You probably have OCD,” or “You don’t love yourself enough.” What? To no surprise to anyone, I don’t have OCD and “loving myself more” didn’t help.
Psychologists and support groups gave more helpful advice, but they still were ineffective for me. For example, some suggested I wear cotton gloves when I really wanted to pick. I always found this ridiculous because if I really wanted to pick, gloves would not stop my urge. I would simply remove the gloves and begin to pick.
As I approached my twenties, I was still frustrated and ashamed of myself, but I didn’t want to give up. Ever since I could remember, I told myself I wanted to be skin picking free by 25. I think I made this goal because collagen begins to drop in production starting in your mid-twenties, so I figured any skin picking mistakes I made were forgivable until I approached 25. I know skin doesn’t work that way, but knowing I “had time” calmed me down and allowed me to try to learn from each skin picking session.
As I got closer and closer to becoming 25, I really amped up my efforts to figure it all out. I did make progress over the years; I wasn’t skin picking for hours and often only picked larger acne. But I hadn’t stopped for good, which was really important to me.
Now that I’m completely skin-picking free, I want to share what I felt was really important in getting rid of the habit.
Shrink the Urge
I picked my skin because it reduced my stress and made me feel good at the moment. In essence, I created bad connections in my brain. If I was stressed, the urge to skin pick would soon follow because I taught my brain that that’s what we want to do when we’re stressed. If you weaken the connection in your brain, whatever that connection is, you will have less of a responsive urge to pick your skin.
Shrinking the urge is easier said than done. If you’ve had a bad habit for as long as I have, you will probably know that fighting back the urge is so hard. It’s almost physically painful even. So how do you shrink the urge if it feels impossible to begin?
Start with baby steps. You want to engage in practices that incrementally reduce how much and how often you pick. As the connection gets weaker, it will get easier to push back the urge, which will help it shrink more. I found the experience to be like I’m taking three steps forward and two steps back, but it worked. Now when I am stressed, I have very little urge to pick, so I don’t bother to do it. Sometimes when I’m incredibly stressed, the urge to pick will come, but the connection is so weak that it’s much easier to fight it back.
When shrinking the urge, it’s additionally important to reduce the urge in every way. For me, this meant not touching my acne whatsoever. If I negotiate with myself to only pop one large pimple or use sanitary extraction methods, I will always end up having a large picking session soon after. Simply put, the less you pick, the weaker the connection.
The next section discusses practices that reduce how much and how often you pick.
Reduce What is There
One step in shrinking the urge can be to reduce how much you pick. It’s harder to maintain an urge if there is less time involved in strengthening the neurological connection.
For skin picking, the best way to reduce what is there is to prioritize your skincare. Develop a simple yet effective skincare routine in reducing acne. Simplicity is often better for your skin, but it’s also sustainable. I don’t know about you, but I cannot imagine doing some 12-step routine after a long day (or really any day…). Consider seeing a dermatologist if your healthcare coverage makes this feasible. In extreme cases, you may be suggested to take Accutane. I will not recommend this, as every person should decide to take prescriptions based on their own medical history.
Personally, I found Accutane to be very helpful in reducing my acne and skin picking urges but it was not without side effects. During use, I experienced extreme mental health struggles that were very frustrating to navigate. Because Accutane essentially dries up the body, I’ve experienced other side effects afterwards that will likely remain until the effects of Accutane leave my body. My hands get dryer faster, so I need to put on hand cream often. My already dry eyes became more dry, so I must take care of them with eye drops and other treatments. There can also be more unpleasant symptoms, such as dryness in more intimate regions like armpits and genitalia. Would I take it again? I’m really not sure. Accutane is a serious medication that deserves thoughtful discussions with your health practitioners.
Acne will likely still be present even with a strong skincare routine and/or medications, so I also recommend instilling habits that reduce how much you are reminded of your acne. Whenever I would see a large pimple, I’d immediately place an opaque hydrocolloid pimple patch so that I could not see or touch the pimple. When I wanted to replace the pimple patch, I would avoid touching the pimple at all cost and aim to replace the patch as soon as I could. At most, I’d maybe wipe the pimple with a tissue if there was any leftover residue. You can take other measures to reduce how much you see your acne, such as limiting your mirror exposure, and only using low-lighting in bedrooms and bathrooms. These may seem a bit drastic, but once you weaken the urge to skin pick you may one day be able to see your acne clearly and not react to it.
I would also suggest having accountability buddies to reduce your urge. I eventually knew that my skin picking occurred almost exclusively at night during my bedtime routine, so I made it a habit to only start getting ready for bed with my partner present. If he was not home for whatever reason, I would make sure to video call him while I got ready. It’s harder to pick when someone is watching you or even physically stopping you from doing so.
As you can see, there are so many ways to take small steps in reducing your skin picking urges. There are likely many unique strategies that other people use to pick less. To figure out what specific methods may work for you, you need to figure out why you are picking. In other words…
Don’t Patch the Leak; Find the Root Cause
Understanding my picking habits helped me figure out how to better address my urges. If you know when you pick, you can take preventative measures to tackle your urges.
Understanding why you pick also lets you implement unique strategies to reduce your urge.
This became clear to me when I was diagnosed with autism. I realized that I primarily picked at nighttime because I was responding to my end-of-day burnout. In response, I implemented strategies in reducing my burnout (e.g., using sound-cancelling headphones or earplugs, carrying fidget toys and sensory comforts, etc.), which led to less urges to pick at the end of the day. When I recognized that I may have ADHD, this helped me realize that I often picked during my bedtime routine because of both ADHD and ASD. Not only was I burnt out, but was becoming drained by the stationary aspects of bedtime tasks. I struggle to sit in one place, which often leads to skin picking urges, so I’ve introduced picking pads into my life to keep my hands busy and stimulated during these moments. To help make bedtime less distressing, I‘ve also started distracting myself by watching my favourite TV show on my iPad or TV while I get ready. Of course, such strategies may not work for someone who doesn’t have autism and/or ADHD, but by understanding myself I was able to recognize that it would work for me.
In summary, understanding why you pick can help you take preventative measures to reduce your urges and identify unique strategies to address your skin picking.
Conclusion
Thank you so much for sticking around and reading this week’s longer post! I like to keep my posts shorter but I wanted to include everything. Is there anything that really resonated with you, or strategies I haven’t mentioned? Let me know in the comments, I would love to learn about them! Next time, I will be pivoting to the tech world to talk about how technology can be your best friend.
Photo description: Infographic titled “How to stop skin picking”. It presents three steps: 1. Shrink the Urge (Gradually reduce the urge through small steps and weakening brain connections). 2. Reduce What is There (Focus on skincare and minimizing reminders of acne). 3. Find the Root Cause (Understand the underlying reasons for picking to implement targeted strategies).
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